A Behind-the-Scenes look at what this Presidential Election is really about.

Author’s Note:

I think everyone can agree that this election is an unmitigated disaster. Sometime in November, the citizens of the U.S. of A. will be forced to vote between a billionaire vomit mess and that already elected  (*wink*) politically connected disgusting goop that clogs your bathroom sink. Doesn’t matter who you vote for, if you have the slightest shred of self-awareness and honesty, you’re going to walk out of that voting booth thinking, “Ew, why did I have to put my finger in that?” The media, the politically and morally corrupt and The People have dug ourselves into a mess. Do we dig ourselves deeper or change what we’re doing to get out of here?

So, to make your whole voting experience a little less queasy and unsettling, I’ll provide you with a couple lollipops of insight that might make this go a little easier for you. (Sorry, not voting. I’m still rooting for the ticket of ‘Yellowstone Super Eruption – Cataclysmic Asteroid Strike 2016! Mass extinction you can believe in!’)

We’ll start off with the shallow end of the pool to avoid brain cramping and to warm up before getting into the deep stuff. And unfortunately, it’s also, sort of, the same matchup that the phony news organizations (MSNBC, NBC, CBS, the Clinton News Network (CNN), Faux News, etc) have been running with since an alarming number of people have lost their thinky-parts and continue to regurgitate nonsense.

The ‘Champion of Women’s Rights’ vs. The ‘Misogynistic Chauvinist Hateful Man-creature that’ll probably eat you after sexually assaulting you!’ (RAAAAAAGHHH!)

This is the current media portrayal of the race, as near as I can tell. Hillary Clinton is wearing the Knight-in-Shining Armor getup and is here to act as the ‘Champion for All Women’* and save this country from the disastrous machinations of MEN, while Trump who ‘clearly hates all women’ *rolls eyes* is here to ‘single-handedly sexually assault, rape, and otherwise force himself on every single woman in the United States for all time’ (because that can seriously be something that is likely to happen *sarcasm alert*).

I’m not saying that he’s justified or gets a free pass. I’m not condoning his words 12 years ago or his antics. Seems like the dude really loves women (and himself). And if his numerous marriages are any sign, a lot of them tend to love him back (while he does not). In that kind of situation, it’s not too hard to imagine that lines are probably crossed somewhere. Sexual attraction is a dangerous thing. So is power, of any form, and when you mix the two, it usually won’t end well. (Which is why I stay shuttered inside, hidden from the eligible and un-eligible women of the world. I have way too much sexual magnetism to keep myself out of trouble. We all make sacrifices for the common good. You’re welcome, ladies!)

But if we’re being honest, we’d look at all The Facts, such as: a) Hillary stated that ‘all women should have their claims of sexual assault and rape be taken seriously’ while spending every ounce of her strength and political connections in destroying the women who were assaulted or raped by her husband, b) stayed married to a serial sexual predator while her daughter Chelsea was growing up, sending her daughter the unmistakable message that other women are objects to be used by the men whom you are using to advance your political career and if a husband repeatedly cheats on you, it’s better to shut the victims up than to….you know…actually say, ‘this is ENOUGH’….and leave. (I thought leaders and parents led by example, or am I missing something?) And c) Hillary rigorously defended a rapist of a 12 year old girl and acquired an acquittal. Then laughed about the state of the criminal justice system that allowed her to do it. But Trust Her, because she cares about women and children. (Just not the ones who she’s allowing to be exploited when it benefits her.)


Next on the list and probably the most laughable:

‘The Most Qualified Woman, no! The MOST QUALIFIED PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE to Run for the Presidency EVER EVERRRRR!’ Vs. The Inexperienced Witless Boob Who’ll Cause World War III!

I’ve heard this one a lot too. Usually from people who’ve never bothered to pop open either a  Dictionary, or a History book to know that what they say clearly isn’t True. ( And I’m NOT going to use your stupid article ‘an’ when referring to History. The H isn’t silent and I don’t speak with a Cockney accent, asshats!).

When one is ‘Qualified’, there’s usually a list of qualifications (funny, how that works)…you know, those indicators that you have the skill, intellect, capability or track record with success that lends itself to one proving their mettle or capability to other people that they can handle a position. And when I hear that Hillary is ‘the most qualified’, I start scratching my head. What are her accomplishments? I’m being dead serious, here. Staying married to Bill? Starting a foundation that pocketed hundreds of millions of dollars from the Haiti crisis at the expense of the people who desperately needed help? Not getting caught at rigging elections (Democratic party nomination ring a bell?)? Shutting up witnesses to her and her husband’s numerous crimes? Not being prosecuted for sending classified information through unsecured channels? Rolling over and going back to bed after ignoring months of requests for beefed up security for the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi? How are these accomplishments?

I could go on….(and have) but it changes nothing. Her political career has only progressed because of her husband’s political clout and because She’s a Woman. Not because of Skill. Not because of her Ability to Lead. Not because of her Intellect. Not because of her Competence. Not because she wrote stunning legislation that solved the problems of this nation. Not because of her individual or political Success. Her entire career is based on political cronyism, the fact that she’s married to Bill Clinton, and the fact that she’s a Woman.

She became a celebrity when her husband became president and the rest of the world took pity on her when they found out he was banging women behind her back. Everything after that is an attempt by the Powers That Be to try and make up for her ‘raw deal’ in her marriage and ‘make history’ by electing her as the first female President. She didn’t sponsor any noteworthy bills as a senator, she didn’t stop any terrorist attacks, she didn’t champion the causes of women or children while an acting senator, and she didn’t make any breakthroughs in any foreign policy position as Secretary of State (which she was offered once she lost the Democratic primary of 2008).

All she’s done is sold government positions and influence through her family’s charitable money laundering scheme Foundation. Yes, she’s held numerous political positions. And she’s screwed up Big Time in Every. Single. One. Being placed in positions of power and screwing them all up does NOT equate to being ‘qualified’. That’s called Being Politically Well-Connected. The End.

As for Trump, he doesn’t have a lot of Political experience. And while some would say that it’s a definite strike against him, I ask myself, ‘what is ‘Political Experience’ in this day and age, when politicians of every walk of life have proven that they’re willing to negotiate with foreign/ domestic politicians/leaders to screw over the populace of both/their own countries?’ Because that’s what ‘Political Experience’ has been for the last 30 years: selling out your country and countrymen/women and lying to The People about it. ‘Political experience’ has been absolutely detrimental to the world and this nation. It’s probably time to scrap that nonsense and try something new.


And this leads us into that deeper end that I warned you about earlier. Here there be monsters, so wear that bacon and blood cologne that makes you irresistible (sea monsters will want to cuddle you SO hard.).

The Caste System is alive, the Political Caste is better than you, it isn’t to be treated to the same standards as everyone else, and America needs a New Iteration of Nobility with Me as your Queen to save you from your own Tragic Ignorance of My Unquestionable Superiority and Greatness.


America is the only Country in the World that fully rejected the ‘Noble’ system and became the envy of the world through the concepts of Equality, Hard Work and the Determination to Succeed. The Political and Business ‘classes’ are f&cking you, your family and your Nation over with their incompetence and secret dealings that benefit only themselves.

This isn’t that shocking to anyone who pays attention to the subtext (or outright text) of the candidates words and actions. Hillary has admitted to having a ‘public face’ and a ‘behind closed doors political face’ that are decidedly at odds with one another. Criminal charges can’t be levied against her because ‘new’ interpretations of legal statutes are bandied around by the morally bankrupt James Comey, (the FBI director) despite it not being in his purview or job description to ‘reinterpret’ legal statute and Loretta Lynch (Head of the Department of In-Justice) because it would be an open and shut case of Democrat-on-Democrat political ‘violence’ against one of their ‘brightest’ stars (and dimmest bulbs). Blanket plea bargains were granted to Hillary’s cronies, subordinates, and accomplices and the public breakdowns of Hillary are notorious. Whenever people begin actually questioning her actions, motives, and words, she’s always furious at the affront to her person (go ahead and Google NPR gay rights Hillary Clinton), as if she’s above and beyond any kind of reproach, criticism or legal repercussions of any kind.

Which is ridiculous. When this country was founded, it was based on the notion of ordinary citizens stepping in to perform a civic duty and then returning to the citizenry to carry on with their private occupations. It’s why the legal system was designed to treat everyone equally before The Law. Monarchs and nobility that are beyond the reach of the law was such an abhorrent notion that the positions were never created in this country, despite monarchies heading up the original European powers that laid ‘claim’ to this land.

So, Trump seems to be correct. The country is $20 trillion in debt, income inequality is at record highs, the tax code is a mess, the government is a bloated, unmitigated disaster, incarceration rates are at record highs, the cost of health care is out of control and the criminal justice system is seriously f-ed up. Politicians and the wealthy routinely skate on all manner of charges that would put The Regular Folk in prison for a very long time but the politically well connected still believe that they’re the only ones  who are best suited to fix the mess that they made.


So there you have it. This election isn’t just the bland, disgusting, one-dimensional turd sandwich the media’s been feeding you all this time. There are layers to the discussion that aren’t really being discussed. This election is between:

A self described ‘Champion of Women’s Rights’ (who has privately destroyed women her entire professional life, especially if they were sexually victimized by her husband) who is ‘The most qualified Presidential Candidate in History’ (despite having no track record for success or even basic competency in any of her endeavors or political positions for the past 30 years) who fully believes that the ‘ruling political class are the only people with the intelligence, wisdom and no-how to decide the fate of this country’ (despite already having been In Power for the last 30 years which has resulted in the near total collapse of this country).


(As the media portrays him) A ‘vile, woman-hating sexual abuser’ (who was the first in the world to hire a woman to construct a skyscraper and, despite 40 years in the public eye and owner of the Miss America competition for 19 years, was never accused of sexual assault until this election) who lacks true ‘Political experience’ (that inescapably entails screwing over your countrymen/women to score your cronies a boatload of money/power from around the world) who believes that the Political Caste has ruined this country and needs to be replaced with individuals who believe in putting Basic Human Decency and America first.

So, hopefully, this breakdown helps resolve some lingering doubts as to who should lead this country in the next 4 years. Or, at the very least, who SHOULDN’T. And if it hasn’t, there’s always a 3rd party candidate. Jill Stein perhaps? Write in vote, maybe? Figure it out folks, nobody’s saving us from the mess we made. And by ‘we’, I mean ‘you’, so get to it.


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